About RobistheDevil Blog

Personally, I am all about Rob Pattinson.  If you are reading this, I do not need to explain.  YOU already know.  However, you may NOT know something that I have come to a very clear, albeit chilling, realization about:

Robert Pattinson is the Devil.

Now, calm down, one at a time.  It’s okay.  He is quite a benevolent demonic ruler, it seems.  In fact, chances are, you have already given him your soul. It most likely was so seamless and gentle a transition that you may have mistaken the exchange to be a slight case of indigestion. That is the kind of Dark Lord Rob is; he would never have you suffer.

‘Hey! I’m offeneded! How can you SAY that about Rob?!’ Oh, my dear friend, quite easily.  You see, I was once taught that the Devil is NOT actually a mischivous, red man with a trident and badass goatee.  No.  The Devil was once described to me by a person of faith as being the ultimate master of disguise, completely intoxicating, utterly perfect.  If you were to meet the Devil, you would see ‘ the most beautiful and perfect creature you have ever seen…and he would be completely irresitable’ to you.  Now you see where I am going with this, don’t you?  Rob Pattinson is unlike any other human being in this world.  Quite simply, because he is not.

I, for one, am okay with that.  I happily give you, Robert Pattinson, my soul. I’ve even packed it up for you.  I put it in an Igloo cooler with some cigarettes and beer.   I really hope you like it.  I made it myself.

If this is the face of the Devil, send me to Hell.